Thursday, 19 November 2015

Revised Script


I swapped a task with Max and wrote up a revised script. I'd like opinions on this as I want to make sure everyone is happy with this, the sooner changes are made (if necessary), the better. I think possibly the middle could be a problem? I'm worried it may not fit in with Tonal Montage, but I'm mainly imagining this being edited to music.

1 comment:

  1. Three things....


    1) At the end of the short you have the older robot 'realising' he can make music....you need to start that idea the beginning of the film so the audience understand why its happening / can happen at the end. Otherwise its a bit 'Deus Ex Machina'. At the beginning of the film have the old robot 'creak' open for example. Make a feature of this and make his realisation a feature too.
    2) Make a soundscape to prove your concept....eg which music does the 'modern robot' play?...what kind of mechanical 'skiffle' music can the older robot play? How does he creak.
    3) Finally...give your robots names...bring them to life fully instead of referring to them like objects...make them 'characters with personalities'...invest in them.

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